So far the most shocking aspect of this CGMS adventure is the fact that I keep seeing straight lines.  For too long (much too long), I’ve blown off diabetes care because I fully expect to see a lousy number when I check.  More times than I care to count, I’ve deferred or skipped a blood sugar check for just that reason.

 I was reading a post recently about what gets in the way of strong diabetes self management, and I definitely identified with the concept of vulnerability, as in “I’m doomed anyway, so it doesn’t matter what I do”.  I don’t spend a lot of time and energy on the doom and gloom approach as it applies to the long term, but I certainly see glimpses of it in the short term.  It’s not so much that I think I’m doomed as I’m pretty darn confident the next blood sugar will suck, so why check?

So I’m flat out surprised at how well my blood sugar has stayed ‘between the lines’ this past week.  Yes, I’m enjoying the perks of new technology: a rejuvenated focus on checking blood sugars, looking up carb values, and walking past the crap junk food at the supermarket.

But I’m also enjoying the fact that, for the moment, when I do what I’m supposed to do, I’m rewarded with ‘good’ blood sugars.  I know that’s not always the case, and that sometimes (often?) diabetes does not respond to vigilance. 

The next challenge – the real challenge – is to ease into a more comfortable balance between strict diabetes management and eating something more interesting than Lean Cuisine (which I enjoy not so much for its taste but for its perfect portions and nutritional information.)